International Student Loneliness: Finding Connection in B.C.

By an international student, for international students

I remember standing in my new dorm, staring at a bowl of instant noodles, wondering why everything suddenly felt so heavy. I had classes, a routine, and a city full of possibilities. But somehow, I still felt completely alone.

When I first moved to British Columbia as an international student, I thought I had it all figured out. I was excited, ambitious, and ready to make the most of this new chapter. I was prepared for the big things — understanding new academic systems, managing my finances, and learning how to navigate day-to-day life independently.

But what I didn’t expect was the loneliness.

Not the kind you feel when you're physically alone, but the quiet, lingering kind that comes with starting over in a place where nothing feels familiar. The kind that sneaks in during late-night study sessions, or when everyone around you seems to belong and you’re still trying to find your place. It showed up in moments I didn’t anticipate — after a video call with family that left me feeling even further away, during group projects where I didn’t quite feel heard, or while walking home from class, wondering if I’d ever feel at home here.

At first, everything felt new and exciting — the campus, the classes, the people. But slowly, the novelty faded, and I began to notice how isolating it can feel to be far from home. When you're away from the people who know you, even the smallest things can start to feel heavy. Between cultural differences, the pressure to perform, and missing the kind of everyday support I once took for granted, I found myself feeling disconnected in ways I hadn’t expected.

If you’re feeling that too, you’re not alone.

So many international students silently carry the weight of homesickness, academic pressure, culture shock, and the constant effort to “keep it all together.” We smile through the confusion, nod through unfamiliar customs, and hesitate to reach out, afraid of seeming like we’re not coping.

But the truth is, seeking help isn’t weakness. It’s a strength.

Support doesn't always mean formal counseling or huge emotional conversations. Sometimes, it starts small. Some days, I’d walk into a room full of people and still feel invisible. Other times, I’d second-guess if I was saying the “right” thing, or feel exhausted from having to explain where I’m from, what my name means, or why I speak the way I do.

It wasn’t just about homesickness; it was about a sense of belonging. And yet, these feelings often go unspoken. There’s pressure to seem like you’re thriving. You want to be seen as independent, strong, and adaptable. But the truth is, being away from home is hard. And pretending you’re okay when you’re not? Even harder.

Over time, I realized I wasn’t alone in these feelings. It would come up in passing between classes, during walks across campus, or while waiting in line for coffee. Other international students started opening up too about missing home, struggling to find real friendships, or just feeling like outsiders in a system that doesn’t always account for our realities. And in those small moments of honesty, I started to feel a little less alone.

What helped wasn’t some grand solution. It was small things, a classmate who checked in when I looked down, or a conversation in my first language where I didn’t feel the need to explain myself. These moments reminded me that connection is possible. And it doesn’t have to be complicated.

When I began leaning into community, slowly, things started to shift. These are some of the small steps that helped me reconnect and might help you too:

● Join campus clubs, especially ones that celebrate your culture or interests. It’s easier to open up when you feel a sense of familiarity.

● Look for peer support groups. Not all mental health spaces are formal. Some, like Kaleidoscope, are simply students holding space for each other through honest conversation.

● Say yes to small invitations. A coffee, a study group, a walk. Even if it feels awkward at first, showing up can make a difference.

● Reach out to someone who might also be struggling. You’re not the only one feeling this way. Sometimes, connections begin when you make the first move.

● Let yourself miss home. It’s not weakness. It’s part of building a life in a new place.

Connection doesn’t always come easily, especially when you’re navigating newness on every level. But it is possible. And it’s okay to seek it out—whether through campus clubs, peer support spaces, community events, or simply by reaching out to someone who looks like they might need a friend too.

Loneliness as an international student is more common than we admit. But it doesn't have to be permanent. If you’re reading this and it resonates, know that you’re not the only one feeling this way. And more importantly, it’s okay to talk about it. Because even in the loneliest moments, connection can begin with just one honest conversation. Let this be yours, and if you’re ready, take that first step.

Kaleidoscope hosts a free weekly student support group, where students come together to share, listen, or just be. No pressure, no sign-up—just a space to feel seen.

We meet every Tuesday from 7–8 pm on Zoom, and you’re always welcome to drop in.